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Lori Hollander, MSW Licensed Couples & Sex Therapist Ann Arbor, Michigan Expertise in resolving Intimacy, Sex, and Relationship problems Individual and Couples Counseling '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''Excellent books I recommend Sexual desire and related sense of sexual self for Women Reclaiming Your Sexual Self by Kathryn Hall Excellent book intended to help a woman build a better relationship with her
sexual self in the context or reigniting sexual desire. Rekindling Desire by Barry W. McCarthy, Emily J. McCarthy
Terrific book for an individual or couple who is looking to gain insight about the underlying dynamics of low sexual desire and how to begin taking action to rebuild desire.
Relationship/ Emotional Intimacy/ Communication Getting the Love you Want (IMAGO) by Harville Hendrix One of the most effective books available to help couples learn to create a safe space that 1) reduces the natural defenses that inhibit people from hearing what their partners are trying to express 2) helps the person talking to take responsibilty for him/herself rather than blame. This model is the most effective I have seen, and the model the reason I chose to take the IMAGO certification training program for therapists which I have found to be highly successful with clients. Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch Very detailed book that investigates the role of the development of sense of self as
a central part of sexual development and the development of emotional intimacy.
The Seven Principles to Making Marriage Work by John Gottman Gottman’s research of what successful couples are actually doing that works, rather than theory alone, leads to the model he developed to make marriage work. Specific exercises are put forth to help couples on a path toward improved emotional intimacy and a relationship that lasts. Sexuality for Men The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld A comprehensive book of male sexuality, Zilbergeld operates from the premise that, "Pleasure takes practice, for doing what comes naturally is no guarantee of good sex." He includes many effective scripts and exercises to help men develop tools to address a range of sexual issues and, overall, to have better sexual experience. The only downside is that some of the material is a bit outdated, but no one has written anything better, yet. The Guide to Getting it on! by Paul Joannides Described as "One of the few books about sex that you actually want to sit down and read," and "playful and sensitive." Male clients tend to appreciate the straightforward tone of this book packed full of useful information about both women and men often not otherwise discussed. An excellent choice for women, too.
A Woman's Body and How it Really Works
The G Spot : And Other Discoveries about Human Sexuality by Beverly Whipple, John Perry, Alice Khan Ladas
Beverly Whipple, the scientist who has contributed more to our understanding of
the G Spot than any other, explains how to find and stimulate the G Spot
based on many years of academic research. Both men and women tend to find
this book to be an excellent source of information about how a woman’s body
really works.
Becoming Orgasmic by Julia Heiman
This book is written specifically for women who have never experienced orgasm
with a partner or alone. This book includes a detailed program to help women
begin to learn to develop orgasmic response. This book moves at a slow pace
which can be a benefit or a detriment, depending on the pace that you need to
move.
Women's Pleasure or How to Have an Orgasm as Often as You Want by Rachel Swift
The author speaks in a frank and straightforward tone about how to experience
orgasm for the first time or how to experience orgasm more often. She focuses on
the point that experiencing fulfilling sexuality is a choice and the ways in which a
woman can make that choice in honor or herself and specific ideas.
For survivors of sexual abuse: building the sexual relationship
The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Wendy Maltz What differentiates this book from others on the topic is the second half of the book. Rather than end the book when the survivor has healed, she acknowledges the reality that a healthy sexual relationship, even years after much healing work has been done, may raise complications. Her book outlines a model to provide the support and practical advice a survivor will likely find very useful in building a sexual relationship that thrives.
Spiritual Self-Connection
Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
My very favorite book, this book explores women's instinctual nature by telling
stories and providing commentaries to help women reconnect and learn to know
our soul. As Maya Angelou described this book, "The work shows the reader how
glorious it is to be daring, to be caring, and to be women. Everyone who can read should read this book."
GREAT WEBSITE RESOURCES Vulvodynia (vulvar pain or burning from intercourse) information: Lubrication CLEAN of any glycerine or parabens (irritants in most lubrications) Pregnancy issues: Fitness program designed to get you the motivation to maintain a fit lifestyle Women's dance classes designed to help you discover pleasure in movement Men's groups (the Mankind project) at locations throughout the US Take me to the Appointment page.
Real Intimacy... Feels Meaningful for you * Helps your true self to emerge * Strengthens your relationship bond *
Lori Hollander, MSW, Licensed Couples Therapist and Sex Therapist Ann Arbor, Michigan
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