Real Intimacy

Get the Intimacy you want
Home
About Me
Therapy
Get started now
Get a discount
Payment options
Events
Excellent resources
Contact Me
Lori Hollander, MSW
Licensed Couples & Sex Therapist
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Expertise in resolving Intimacy, Sex, and Relationship problems
Individual and Couples Counseling
734.418.3363             |          328 Thompson Street, Ann Arbor, Michigan  48104       |        loriholl@umich.edu
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Excellent books I recommend
 
Sexual desire and related sense of sexual self for Women
 
    Reclaiming Your Sexual Self by Kathryn Hall
    Excellent book intended to help a woman build a better relationship with her 
    sexual self in the context or reigniting sexual desire. 
 
    Rekindling Desire by Barry W. McCarthy, Emily J. McCarthy
    Terrific book for an individual or couple who is looking to gain insight about the
    underlying dynamics of low sexual desire and how to begin taking action to 
    rebuild desire.
 
Relationship/ Emotional Intimacy/ Communication
 
     Getting the Love you Want (IMAGO) by Harville Hendrix
    One of the most effective books available to help couples learn to create a safe 
    space that 1) reduces the natural defenses that inhibit people from hearing what 
    their partners are trying to express 2) helps the person talking to take responsibilty
    for him/herself rather than blame. This model is the most effective I have seen, and
    the model the reason I chose to take the IMAGO certification training program for
    therapists which I have found to be highly successful with clients.
 
     Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch
    Very detailed book that investigates the role of the development of sense of self as
    a central part of sexual development and the development of emotional intimacy.

    The Seven Principles to Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
    Gottman’s research of what successful couples are actually doing that works, rather 
    than theory alone, leads to the model he developed to make marriage work. Specific
    exercises are put forth to help couples on a path toward improved emotional
    intimacy and a relationship that lasts.
 
Sexuality for Men
 
    The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld
     A comprehensive book of male sexuality, Zilbergeld operates from the premise that,  
     "Pleasure takes practice, for doing what comes naturally is no guarantee of good sex."
     He includes many effective scripts and exercises to help men develop tools to address a 
     range of sexual issues and, overall, to have better sexual experience. The only downside   
     is that some of the material is a bit outdated, but no one has written anything better, yet.
 
    The Guide to Getting it on! by Paul Joannides
    Described as "One of the few books about sex that you actually want to sit down
    and read," and "playful and sensitive." Male clients tend to appreciate the
    straightforward tone of this book packed full of useful information about both
    women and men often not otherwise discussed. An excellent choice for women, too.
 
A Woman's Body and How it Really Works

   The G Spot : And Other Discoveries about Human Sexuality by Beverly Whipple, 
   John Perry, Alice Khan Ladas
  
Beverly Whipple, the scientist who has contributed more to our understanding of
   the G Spot than any other, explains how to find and stimulate the G Spot
   based on many years of academic research. Both men and women tend to find
   this book to be an excellent source of information about how a woman’s body
   really works.

   Becoming Orgasmic by Julia Heiman
  
This book is written specifically for women who have never experienced orgasm
   with a partner or alone. This book includes a detailed program to help women
   begin to learn to develop orgasmic response. This book moves at a slow pace
   which can be a benefit or a detriment, depending on the pace that you need to
   move.

   Women's Pleasure or How to Have an Orgasm as Often as You Want by Rachel
   Swift
  
The author speaks in a frank and straightforward tone about how to experience
   orgasm for the first time or how to experience orgasm more often. She focuses on
   the point that experiencing fulfilling sexuality is a choice and the ways in which a
   woman can make that choice in honor or herself and specific ideas.

For survivors of sexual abuse: building the sexual relationship
   
   The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Wendy Maltz
   What differentiates this book from others on the topic is the second half of the book.
   Rather than end the book when the survivor has healed, she acknowledges the reality that
   a healthy sexual relationship, even years after much healing work has been done, may
   raise complications. Her book outlines a model to provide the support and practical advice a
   survivor will likely find very useful in building a sexual relationship that thrives.

Spiritual Self-Connection

   Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
  
My very favorite book, this book explores women's instinctual nature by telling
   stories and providing commentaries to help women reconnect and learn to know
   our soul. As Maya Angelou described this book, "The work shows the reader how
   glorious it is to be daring, to be caring, and to be women. Everyone who can read should 
   read this book."
 
 
GREAT WEBSITE RESOURCES 
 
 
Vulvodynia (vulvar pain or burning from intercourse) information:
 
Lubrication CLEAN of any glycerine or parabens (irritants in most lubrications)
 
Pregnancy issues:
 
Fitness program designed to get you the motivation to maintain a fit lifestyle
 
Women's dance classes designed to help you discover pleasure in movement
 
Men's groups (the Mankind project) at locations throughout the US
 
 
 
 
 
 
Take me to the Appointment page.

                                               Real Intimacy...                                 
                  Feels Meaningful for you   *  Helps your true self to emerge
                             *  Strengthens your relationship bond  *

 


                      Lori Hollander, MSW, Licensed Couples Therapist and Sex Therapist
                                                             Ann Arbor, Michigan
                                                                               
734.418.3363        |      328 Thompson Street, Ann Arbor, Michigan 48104     |           loriholl@umich.edu